For example, when two similar people are faced with similar levels of uncertainty for a decision, one of them might significantly overestimate the seriousness of that uncertainty, which can cause them to struggle with making a decision.
However, note that people can be indecisive even when none of these issues are at play. Overall, common factors that make it harder to make decisions are complexity, uncertainty, and serious consequences, in addition to other factors, such as lack of self-confidence.
However, there is substantial variability with regard to the influence of these factors, and people can be indecisive even when none of these factors are at play. Although most people struggle sometimes when it comes to making decisions, some people are inherently more indecisive than others. Indecisive people can struggle even with tiny decisions to a degree that is sometimes pathological , and this can be an issue for them either in general or in specific areas of life.
Certain personality traits are characteristic of indecisive individuals. Most notably, neuroticism , which is the tendency to be is prone to negative emotions and psychological stress, is strongly correlated with indecisiveness, as is perfectionism. In addition, indecisiveness is associated with the tendency to interpret ambiguous situations as threatening, and to engage in worst-case reasoning.
In addition, indecisiveness is associated with procrastination , and particularly with a type of procrastination called decisional procrastination , which involves unnecessarily delaying when it comes to making decisions. This means that indecisive individuals often tend to put off their decisions, and particularly ones that they struggle with.
The main reason why people make bad decisions is that it can be difficult to conduct a proper decision-making process, and so people often end up using a flawed process instead. Issues can arise in any step of the decision-making process. For example, when it comes to gathering information in a situation where we need to choose between several different colleges that we can go to, we might fail to properly collect all the relevant information that we need about each college, because doing so takes a lot of effort.
In addition, there are various things that can interfere with our decision-making and cause us to make bad decisions. Similarly, being tired and sleep-deprived can make it more difficult for us to process information, and more likely for us to suffer from various cognitive biases that get in the way of making good decisions. For example, there is the confirmation bias , which causes us to search for, favor, interpret, and recall information in a way that confirms our preexisting beliefs.
If only I had asked her out, we might now be happily married. Poor decisions produce greater regret when it is harder to justify those decisions in retrospect. I really value my friends and family so why did I leave them all behind to take up that overseas job? Given that we are social beings, poor decisions in domains relevant to our sense of social belonging—such as romantic and family contexts—are more often regretted.
Why did I break up my family by having a fling? Regrets tend to be strongest for lost opportunities : that is, when undesirable outcomes that could have been prevented in the past can no longer be affected.
I could have had a better relationship with my daughter if I had been there more often when she was growing up. The most enduring regrets in life result from decisions that move you further from the ideal person that you want to be. These findings provide valuable lessons for those with big life decisions ahead, which is nearly everyone. The most important decisions in life relate to family and friends. Seize opportunities. Your education and experience can never be lost.
Avoid making decisions that violate your personal values and move you away from your aspirational self. I continue to ask people to tell me about their biggest life decisions.
If you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you do not want to pay it back, then you should not borrow money. The choice itself is neither good nor bad; we just need to be responsible for our choices.
Our minds are conflicted between wanting to borrow money and not wanting to pay it back. Such conflicting desires make choices difficult. Make any decision you want but be ready to embrace the inevitable consequences of your choice. When I chose to take this new path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Korean Buddhism, I foresaw that I would experience adversity. It's good to do research. It's good to dig deep and know what you're really getting yourself into. But there's a point where too much information only complicates your decision making.
Try reducing the amount of information and the number of factors you use to make your decision. Instead, focus more on the "big picture" qualities of each option.
Instead of thinking what you want to do, think about who you want to be. Picture how your identity will change as the result of your decision. Are you the type of person who works for a casual, laid-back company, or the type of person who makes more money and wears a suit every day? In a way, our decisions construct our identities, so use this strategy to help you figure out who you want to be. Talk to your friends. Talk to your family. Talk to your coworkers.
Talk to strangers if you have to.
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